Dear bloggie....

Every time from now onwards..... It may be my last....... So yar... haiz.... goodbye world i guess....

Hmmmm.... I've nv told dis to anyone..... Coz no one would really believe me..... yar....
Sad.... I've got a heart problem ever since i was a kid....
But I hid it cause i dowan 2 be ditched...
But I dun understand, it have been like dis...
I could run with top speed....
Though I sumtimes wonder "do i got a gift on my feet?"

watz up with all dis rhymin huh?
Watz happenin to me huh?
U guyz keep worrying abt me wen u guyz want me to leave...?
Is there like a missing link or suntin?
U guyz bring me up, juz to take me down rite....
Well, U WIN....
understand dat.....
Cause i'm weak.....

I onli got my short burst of speed to back me up...
Once my legs can't carry animore.....
My heart gives away and I'll be panting...
Ok now, Back to my health condition....
After any sports I do, My head gets dizzy...
I can't tink straight....
My brain juz doesn't want to shut down...
And I gotta suffer dat inner pain....
Datz juz after playing soccer, I fainted several times...
Wy am I very stubborn and put my life in danger....

How I wish my legs and my heart could juz work together....
My heart give way, but my legs still moving....
Haiz.... Yea, datz how itz been since d day i was born....
I still remember... My dad....
Told me i had special legs......
True dad, true..... But wat abt my heart?
No one told me abt dis heart, I gotta suffer....
U wanna noe how it feels after i play any sports?
Try having a hook poking thru ur heart and pulling vigorously....
I cried several times by d pain....
U tink i can take it?

And to survive 16 years without dying....
Juz makes me wonder wen would d time be....
And so I juz conclude, Wen my heart breaks....
Datz wen everyting juz end.....
I'm not gonna do aniting foolish.....
No one, not even my parents noe abt my heart condition....
COZ NO ONE BELIEVES IN IT!
Even saying it now, pple would go "really ar? sure ar? bluff ar fiq... wat sia..."
Datz d reason wy I've been keeping it to myself...
Recently, dat "Hook" poking thru my heart juz got sharper....

I tried 2 save it... But to no avail....
So I guess, d end is near for me....
For those hu have criticised me, hurt me, tried 2 kill me....
Trust me, I noe how 2 die...
Dun u even realise wy I dun like to watch horror movies?
Or take dose joy rides in Escape Theme Parks..?
Dun u all even WONDER WY????
noooooooo..... I can't blame u all.....
Coz itz my sickness.... I seem so fit rite...
I got a BRONZE for napha.... and guess wat, d onli ting i'm good at is shuttle run....
Dey told me I'd make a great runner.....

But would dey take me with dis heart?
Yea, I was scared 2 join another sports cca after soccer....
I lurved playing soccer, d pleasure of running around....
My kindergarten teacher called me black monkey...
hahakz.. tankz cher, i understand wy now....
Den I had to join band.....
Juz for 2 sick cca points.....
I started off with d eupho.....
Ok fine, FINE, I've fallen in love with d eupho....
I brought it to SYF in '03.....
Brought back Gold.....
I'm proud of u my Eupho.... ur three valves juz makes me happy all d time...

And onli after d seniors are gone....
I was forced 2 seperate from my eupho.....
Damn her manz....
Coz of HER i had to play d tuba.....
I wanted to tell her I can't coz of my heart....
But u tink she'd take it seriously?
I'd be a laughin stock by d end of d day.....
Yeaz, d 1st time I touched d tuba, I knew I hated it.....
And I still do.... I'm such a small person, playin a tuba...
Wat SHE said? "A good eupho player makes a good tuba player"
Watz dat?????? Do I even fit in d size criteria for tuba players?

I wanted to breakdown, but for d band's sake, I continued....
Persevered... Juz to noe d worst coming......
Haiz.... I ran out of breath many times.... uncountable....
And again, U tink i wanna tell dat conductor of mine....
Well, I did, I asked her wen can i come back to eupho....
D asnwer? PATHATIC, makes my blood rise like volcano...
She said after next year's SYF.....
DEN WAT ABT MY O LEVELS HUH?!
Pple in band see me as a tuba player.... and not see me for hu i am.....
Does anyone EVEN SEES ME for hu I AM?

Haiz.... For d peeps readin dis, dun be shocked or alarmed if I'm gone....
It juz had to be....
Hu can save me, I dunno, I pray hard I live till d day I see my children.....
But if God wants to have me earlier...
I have no objections... Life has been slightly "Interesting" lately....
So yar... Dis heart of mine... And peeps tink I'm makin it up.....
Wanna believe wen I get into my grave, too late i tink.....

Tankz for readin my blog 2day..... I got maths mock test later on.... HECK AR...
Grrrrrrr...... and band from 9am-3pm.... wah laoz.....
APER NI CABARAN AR?! MAU FITE PER?!
*breathes in strongly.....* My heart can't take it animore...
Take care everyone.... sori for my impolite language.....

Fine, laugh at me all u want....
I dun mind, I got my life on d line....
So cya aightz... Maybe not on earth but sumwhere else....

byez.