Dear Bloggie....

Ahhhh... I'm back.... But I dun feel so good....
My back hurtz, I'm juz demoralised....
Haven't been going to band for 2 weeks...
Actually, I felt like quiting dis Ngee Ann Concert Band....
Yea, I joined SWS, well, I'm still being assesed(dunno how 2 spell)....
Yeaz, Played d tuba, wy is my future short.....
Yesterday, I had a close encounter with death, believe it or not, itz true....

U can't blame me... My legz... Dey... juz felt "itchy" for sum reason....
And I guess I was guilty.....
Cut to d blabbering, Wy did I woke up yesterday.....
I could have juz gone in peace and left everyone happy....
While I was knocked out, everyting became blank.....
But i could hear 2 people talking.... With no doubt I heard my voice....
But I was too weak to move... It was all in my mind.....
Dey were arguing, trust me, itz d worst experience.....
I juz wanted a peaceful mind to live in... But no....
Both of "me" had to make such a big noise....

I concerntrated on their, i mean, mine, i mean... alah, dem werdz....
I could figure out, one was good, d other was, other self.....
The good one was saying stuff abt wy i should live on...
It said I got a long way to go, many people to change lives....
But it was disrupted by dis strong feeling of hatred, almost from hell(if i knew wat hell was like)
It said dat i've done alot of wrong, hurt lotz of people, and not suppose 2 live on.....
It was a point of life and death... I strongly felt like dying.... I gave up listening.....
But I can't ignore d noise.... Haiz.... If dat wasn't hell, i dunno wat was.....
Den after so long of noise torture.... Sum people's voices came to my ears.....
I was too weak to move or open my eyes.. I could onli hear "He's ALIVE!!!!!"
I was like too weak 2 tink n juz laid there.. People slapping my face so hard, i couldn't feel....
Couple of minutes later, I woke up... Forced open my eyes, i saw light.....Was i in heaven?

All juz to find out i was lying on d ground with my friends surrounding me.....
Haiz.... Wy didn't dey let me die... Wy......
Do i even deserve dis 2nd chance to live..... My world was ending soon anywayz....
I had to suffer lotz... I dunno hu are my frenz or enemies.....
I feel like I'm in a mirage.... Juz blurred... Hu do I love, hu do I hate.....
Hu loves me? Hu doesn't.... hu hates me?(I bet alot)....
I'm juz so confused..... Wy am I alive......
Do I mean dat much to pple hu are around me, I juz wish dey could give me a sign.....
A reason for me to live.... I'm juz so confused, My brain feels like itz gone thru a blender....

And my heart.... Whoa... please.... U wouldn't wanna go there...
It was d ting dat brought me into dat "world" i went to hell....
Haiz.... If there's anyone out there, hu cares abt me, hu loves me, hu needs me.....
Or even people hu hates me... please, tell me, let me noe... I juz dun understand life.....
Watz dis ting called frenz, or even going into relationships.... Itz all mixed up....
I wanna start over... But I need help... But for dose hu juz wanna take advantage.....
I may be confused, but I'm not and nv stupid......
Well.... Tankz for anyone hu reads dis.....

I dunno if i should be happy or not to live on......
But anywayz, take carez, and remember, U can die anytime, anywhere......treasure life.....
Byez all.......