Dear Bloggie...

*321st entry*

Ok, I didn't blog yesterday cause well, basically I was too tired...
I cleaned my whole room yesterday...
Vacuumed the floor and swept the floor also...
So my room is DUST FREE now...
So proud of myself..
Usually I clean my room like during the fasting month...
But my dad told me later fasting month I'll get very tired and stuff...
So I decided to just clean my room...
It was alot of hardwork of course...
But I guess the hard work paid off!
I'm kinda lazy to take a pic of the cleaned room, maybe another time...

So what did I do today...
Having slept at 2am yesterday night chatting with a friend doing Zuowen...
An advice to everyone, don't chat with someone doing zuowen...
They will take forever to reply, or maybe never...
So I bailed out at around 2am...
Slept all the way till 12pm...
Actually I was awake at 10am...
But it was raining, so I continued sleeping..
Dragged all the way till 12pm...
After which I bathed and had my brunch...
I then looked after my nephew, as in like play toys with him...
When I was done looking after him, I watched some show on crunchyroll...
Now I'm at the second last episode and it's really getting intense...
I planned to do my music theory exam papers...
But I guess I can leave that to another day...

I can't believe there's just 3 more days left to fasting month...
Really looking forward to it...
I'm gonna learn to be more patient and persevere...
And also keep my heart pure...
The window of repentance will be opened...
And I've sinned so much that I pray hard that I shall not repeat my mistakes...
And in 2 days time, I'm gonna get my results for my exams...
I'm really feeling quite scared but I must accept whatever results I get...
I must persevere and move forward!
No more being lazy...
No more slacking...
Everyday I gotta do something so that I will improve...
I'm gonna quit not doing things I set myself to do...
I will do the things I plan to do with a focused mind...
Though my future is still uncertain, Allah knows the best for me...
I must believe that all I am, all that I'll become is already planned by Him...
That is why, in the new semester, I'm gonna make sacrifices...

Before I joined SPband...
I told myself I was going to cope with my studies...
I told myself it won't take much of my time...
I wanted to prove to everyone that I can do both...
But I guess I'm mistaken...
And there's no one or nothing to be blamed for it but myself...
My own ignorance and foolishness made me believe life was going to be easy...
How wrong I was...
What hurts most was knowing my own capabilities yet taking the risk...
Mistakes after mistakes which I made...
And I dared to call myself a leader?
How can a person who can't do something so simple be a leader?
Who am I to kid, i'm just an ordinary person...
I have yet to find it in me...
I have yet to find what makes me tick...
But till I do...
I shall keep improving myself towards a better future...
For the past I can't correct, The present I can change, The future I can plan for...
I just gotta be strong in everyway possible...
Alot of people are counting on me, and I won't let anyone down...
I would like to apologise for the things I'm going to sacrifice...
For the things I'm going to abandon...
I just hope everyone would understand what I'm going through...
Take carez everyone...

Zupz Zupz!