Dear Bloggie.....

Itz the 23rd of March..... Sumhow... Itz a day of joy......
*no, not coz i juz killed myself, sheesh*
Itz coz Md. Damien Afiq was born 2day.... Yay!!!!
Hahakz... Finally I'm an uncle... A true uncle... Woohooo....
Yaynezz!!! Hehe...... Very happy 2day.....
But like every good has itz bad side.....

There was juz dis incident dat juz made me broke into tears.....
For all my life i've been honest with myself and others....
For the trust I plant in them in so true.....
And yes, I do joke around once in awhile....
Well, okok, I'm like dis BIG joker......
But hey.... I'm not d type of person hu would be sarcastic for no reason.....
Usually my sarcasm is for others happiness.... Even if it hurts me.....
Well, I am hu I am.... And I would like pple 2 like me for hu I am......
But once pple get the wrong perception abt me.... I'm lost......
I can't tink.... Juz now, I had a reality check.....
Well, as being me, I would like everyone to be happy....
And at some times I break down...
And if I've said aniting, or didn't do aniting I'm suppose 2 do....
I deserve every scolding dat i can get.......
But, I'm onli human.... Do u noe, I fight myself wen I wanna turn bad...
Go figure how I became good.... Itz not like I was born good....
For goodness sake I scolded my primary school teachers......
Yea, datz rite, u didn't noe dat.... Coz u onli see wat I am now....
My past has nv occur to u dat it would be important.....
I've worked hard fighting against myself......
Overcoming d limits of my patience.....
I'll juz ask u.... Wat wrong have I done to u......
U'd say noting... And I'd say everyting.....
Den where's d understanding here?
Wen pple dun speak out their hearts, and juz pull back their words...
I'm not complaining... But for goodness sake.....
Speak ur mind out.... Dun hide it in urself and feel bad.....

TRying to understand sumting, and really understand sumting is another.....
Well, yea, both are abt understanding... But how truly do u understand?
How much do u understand.... Itz juz like using ur ear.....
Do u listen, or do u hear?
Wen u hear, it doesn't get registered in ur mind....
But wen u listen attentively, datz wen u really understand....
There's no point trying to understand, as it will lead to MISunderstandings...
Trust me, I'm no more den a student, wat more a proffessor.....
But I speak from my mind and from my heart.....
My conductor once told me.....
"A band who plays every technical skill correctly, perfectly, with great accuracy.... But doesn't reach out to the audience and the audience doesn't feel anything, then what they played meant nothing..... But a band, even though they might not be very skilled, they train, they practice, and when they perform, they try to reach out to the audience.... That is when the band is a good band...."
This can be put in life... U can be a clever person.....
But u dun understand d pple around u correctly....
U listen 2 rumours... U make ur own judgements without asking....
Will u turn out to be a good person?

I'm not trying to be naggy or aniting here....
I juz wanna say dat I'm still hu I am.....
And I like d way I am....
Please believe me.... Trust me......
I might not be d perfect person for u.....
But I strive to be d best... Cuz I noe I'm not good enough for u....
U should noe hu u are....
Ur a great person that I've known for sum time oleady....
And u noe me too.... I'm still d Fiqz u knew last october.....
Nv changed, nv will.... Believe me for hu I am.....
Please.....
I know u don't really trust me animore....
And yea, I've dissapointed u twice......
I dissapoint myself too... Ask questions like wy do i behave dat way.....
Itz hard for me 2 even forgive myself u noe....
Wat more for others to forgive me.....

Well.... I'd juz wanna end my entry today.... By apologising 2 u...
Yes u...... There's alot of things I should and shouldn't do....
But i did and I didn't..... Itz hard for me 2 forgive myself....
I ask my heart, my brain gets confused....
I ask my brain, my heart gets confused.....
In all, I'm juz one big confused person....
So I would like to say sorry to u....
For everyting dat I've done to make u say dose tings....
But i really hope u can accept me for hu I am.....
Cuz I still....

And will always...

Love u...............


*When you thought the glass was half full, u were fooled, as Air filled the other half of the glass....*

Zupz Zupz!