Dear Bloggie...

*screams* Can you hear me now?

Today I keep waking myself up and going back to bed...
In the end woke up at 9.15am...
I swear, my dreams are getting freaky everytime...
Went online and watched half of Wall-E...
It's quite an interesting movie...
Alot of things to keep you at the edge of your seat...
But I stopped halfway cause I had to clean my room...
Of which I started cleaning at around 10am...
Took out all the old textbooks which I've kept for 2 years...
And finally threw them away...
I also found my own story book that I wrote in sec 2...

At around 1pm, went for Friday prayers...
After that, went back home, packed some stuff...
Then went to NASband...
National Day rehearsal was crap...
The planner of the event is obviously not sure of what he's doing...
And when one person (THE EMCEE) screw up, he made the whole parade restart...
Instead of focusing on just the emcee...
The whole rehearsal was supposed to start at 3pm...
And in the end it started at 3.45pm...
During one of the breaks, I taught Mab how to play one of the part for March Blue Sky...
After rehearsal, hogged Mab's tuba while the commitee was having meeting...
The feeling of liking tuba is coming back...
But sadly my warm tone not there anymore and Mr Yeo realises it...
He said "play too much eupho already ar..."
Which is true...
No matter how hard I tried to get back that tuba tone...
It just wouldn't come back....=[ *emo for 2 seconds*
I even did long notes on my low Bb... Haiz... It's gone, poofed...
I miss my warm sound!!!!!
Now I dowan to play eupho le...
I want to get back my tuba sound... =X

Anyway, after everything ended...
Walked back to the NCC room, talked to Mr Yeo about some people...
Then SH was like asking for Tuba Solos...
Mr Yeo plays the Tuba for goodness sakes...
Can always ask him what... =X
I wonder if he has Eupho Solos...
I want!!!! =X
But I bet I suck like shit to even play them...

Went to Macs to buy Double Cheese Burger meal with Yihui...
Oh yar, before I forget, Zhen Hua said I look more man today...
I was practically speechless...due to immense burst of shock...
Brayton's conducting has improved, but there's still more to work on...

Now I'm at home, kinda lazy to continue packing my stuff...
Feeling very full, just finished eating my mac meal...
I really don't know why, but recently I'm obsessed with the song Godzilla Eats Las Vegas...
It's just that, I miss it when Dunearn played the song for SYF 03'...
The shouting, the screaming and the cute dog call...
But seriously, the song is an amazing song...
Even though I never seen the score before...

I have this urge of conducting...
But since there's a student conductor...
There's no need for me to conduct anymore...
So basically now I go band, and only useful during sectionals...
I think after sectionals I should leave or something...
Or I should bring something to do so I won't waste time...
Yea, I think I'll bring something to do...

I'm feeling sad but I don't know why...
Not that I dowan to be happy...
Why am I depressed so easily nowadays...
*screams* Can here me, NOW?

Next Monday going to Esplanade to watch concert...
Go Valerie! Go Kexin! and whoever I know in Nanyang Girls High School...
I hope it would be an amazing concert...
Not cheap summore ok...
I need to clean my ears with good music...

I'm trying my bestest to not think so much nowadays...
But it's tough...
Cause I like to think forward and plan ahead...
But always when things don't go according to plan, I'll get pissed...


When the blood that run through your veins starts to deplete...
You can try calling out for help but you can't even say a word...
Slowly your lungs gets filled with blood and everytime you cough the hole gets bigger...
You are all alone, left to bleed and die a lonely death...
You know it's the end, you know it's over...
That moment in time, you wished you never believed in hope, cause it was all lies...
And that you were in that situation cause people stabbed you in the back...
Your mind filled with anger, which causes even more blood to pump...
You look at the floor and you could see your face...
The reflection you see reflected on the puddle of blood, your blood...
Oh how pathetic you look as you cried like a bitch...
You start to think about the sins you've done in your life...
All those times, procrastinating to repent...
Till there's not much time left...
Now your lungs are almost filled with blood...
You lay there, motionless on the ground covered with blood...
Your fingers twitched for afew more times, then it stopped entirely...
No one cared about you...
No one will realise the pain you've gone through...
And when you're gone, no one will remember you, fiq...
All you were, was just someone to make others feel better...
And after that, you'll always be alone, till you stumble upon someone who needs a listening ear...
You thought she was your friend, until the day she found her own happiness and left you alone...
You were broken, fiq.
Looking at you now, lying motionless on the ground...
Makes me wonder how pathetically nice you are...
You disgust me...
Look at where you are now...
In pain and no one's there in the dark with you...
What have you got to say for yourself huh, fiq?
I forgot, your mouth is filled with blood huh, who's blood? Yours?
If you were alive, I would have told you who I am...
But now you're dead, just like all the friends around you...
Don't you know you're only hurting yourself more when you protect others...
And do they even think of protecting you when you needed help?
They just run away and save themselves...
You're better off being alone, fiq.
Now you'll rot in the mess that you made...

"I'm stupid, don't provoke me."

*Novena*

Zupz Zupz!