Dear Bloggie...

I'm the one who wants to be with you.

Ok then...
Had a pretty bad morning...
Pancakes didn't turn out alright...
Me, the smarty pants tried putting milo powder in pancake mixture...
And it took forever to fry the darn pancake...
In the end I burnt all and didn't eat any...such a waste...
Didn't have mood to eat, so skipped breakfast...

In the afternoon, cooked maggie mee...
But aint your normal maggie mee...
For once, I tried adding lime and two sliced chilli...
And for fun, I added my mom's "sambal kicap"...
It taste super nice...
True it might be too spicy, but hey, I'll die not having anything spicy to eat...
So it was like heaven with a touch of sourness in the lime...

After lunch, went straight into study mode...
It's Digital Communications...
So far I've done one exam paper...
And it's quite do-able...
Later in the late afternoon, gonna try one more paper...
Which will drag till night...
And after which off to bed...

I have officially screwed my heart/life inside out upside downside up...
Trying hard to stay happy...
But that happiness is gone...
I've finally hit rock bottom.. *yay.*
I took the risk, being stubborn and all...
Hoping for some hope...
Instead, I crashed and burn...
For once it felt so right than right can ever be...
And I'm smacked in the face telling me I'm wrong...
Is it my ego? Was it my over confidence?
Or was it just me trying to seek my true happiness?
Whatever it is, it all sums up to nothing in the end...
It doesn't matter what I've done...
I'm just an ordinary guy with an ordinary life that's sucks so ordinarily...

What's the point of being so close yet feel so far...
I might say this is the biggest mistake of my life...
But I'm sure I'll screw up even bigger sooner or later...
So instead of accomplishments...
Instead of taking afew steps forward...
Instead of improving...
I'm facing mistakes, I'm taking alot of steps backwards and I'm becoming worse...

Tell me...
How can the circle end?
When there's no beginning, nor an end?

No.

I haven't lost...

I haven't lost anything I never had...

But it feels like I'm back to square one...
Now I need to find a new source of happiness...
Anyone who can make me truly happy and loves me back please step forward...
Love aint a movie.
How I wish fairy tales were real, I'll just wish and wish and wish...
Heh, fancy dreaming huh...

Time to stop dreaming, and start living...
Climbing back up is the hardest bit to do...
When you've totally lost everyone you can hold on to...
And all you've got is yourself...
Fiq, be there, do that, and keep fighting. yes.

*I've got it in me to stop myself from being misdirected*

Zupz Zupz!