to find the strength

Dear Bloggie...

To keep on fighting...

Harlows people! =]

Ok, supposedly should have been out the WHOLE of today...

But a phone call from my dreaded lecturer, ended me in school bright early in the morning...

It was hell...

All the programming and stuff...

Nuff said...

Wanted to go jalan raye with my friends...

But when I got back, I was greeted with screaming, wailing, shouting and all the loud amplitude whelps from my nephews...

Talk about a headache in school, it continues at home too...God..

I was practically disabled, like my brain wouldn't function...

My mom getting bullied by my nephew...

And when I step in, my mom tells me to stop...

Now I really don't know what I should do...

Is my temper really that bad?

Please let me see how crappy I am...

So I took panadol and went straight to bed...

To my friends who I said I would go out with today...

I don't expect you guys to understand what I'm going through...

Nor do I expect any sympathy...

I just wanna say sorry for not making it...

I'm such a dumb friend...

Anyways...

Woke up and worked on my FYP again...

Praying hard my lecturer won't call me up again tonight...

The freaking thing is that, school hasn't started yet but I'm as busy as a bumbling bee...

No prizes for guessing how busy I'm gonna be when it actually does...

But hey, last stretch, last lap...

Giving it my all...

Fiq needs this...Fiq wants this...Fiq is gonna do this...=]

Watching the tv and seeing those people playing sports...

Kinda reminds me of those times when I used to be fit...

Exercising is damn fun, well, was...when I was still fit at least...

Now I'm rotting faster then a dead body in the sahara desert...

Tomorrow morning I'm gonna try to start exercising...

But it's with my dad...

Not that I don't like exercising with him, it's just that, I feel better doing it alone...

Well, the first step is to get my lazy arse out of bed in the morning...

If I can do that, I guess I'll need to overcome my fear of some things...

Speaking of fear...

Has anyone of you felt fear before?

The feeling in your body, as your heart starts to pump harder, your stomach starts feeling feeling and your body completely shuts down...

I know it's a common condition which doesn't affect much...

But I got a feeling I'm getting more and more panic attacks recently...

Plus my throat starts to shrink and I'll start choking...

I used to think that it's a physical condition, well, at least part of me still think that way...

But now it feels more of a psychological condition...

Be it stress or pressure...

Be it my ultra high sensitivity to small things...

It will trigger this reflex which causes my body to shut down...

And no, it's not FAINT, shut down in a sense that I sense bad things...

Not sure if I have a 6th sense or anything like that...

If I do, it's working on overtime with no off button...

My dad says I need to learn how to relax...

But relaxing has a vast variety of definitions...

Maybe Singapore's just one of those countries with the highest stress counts...

Even while typing this entry I feel giddy...

Damn I'm weird...

Ok...

I guess I shall stop blogging here...

For a simple reason that I need to start sleeping early...

Next week start school already and I'll try my best to be as guai as possible...

So people, pray hard for me ok? =]

I'm done!

Take carez my friends!

Good nightz and Sweet dreamz!

Let bygones be bygones...

*Light up my path, with a sincere heart*

*...for the sun doesn't recognise night*

Zupz Zupz!