Dear Bloggie...

Itz been 4 days since i've updated...
So i gez itz due time i update....
Okaiyz den...
Watz been happening to me lately....
Actually noting much ar...
Seriously, my life is filled with boredom manz...
Yeapz... sad... But i feel fine sumhow...=D

Now i wanna orbit around the question...
Question of what happens after i'm gone...
I dun mean to sound sadistic here...
Please, I've not lost my mind...
I just feel that, sumday I'll be gone....
And what will happen to those i care abt....
Will pple start appriciating me wen i'm gone...
Or would everything go one without me...
Cuz now, I really feel as good as dead...
A beating heart with an empty soul...
Yea, the word zombie sumtimes relates to me...
I'm there wen there's danger...
Yea, i must agree it seems kinda kewl...
Being in the needs of pple..
But the problem happens... When there's no problem...
Maybe if I'm gone after a few years....
And when people come looking for help...
I'm never there...
And its too late to come back....
Cuz i'd be gone.... burried.... peacefully? Onli God knows...
But people.. If you forget all abt me....
I wun be sad...
Cuz i noe, in one way or another....
I've helped every single one of u....
Even if u love me or hate me...
Please forgive me, itz who I am....
And as much as I wanna change myself...
I can't, cause I'm born this way....

Yes... I would want to believe my life is more of a curse den a gift....
I bring and create trouble to pple around me all d time...
And I dun even realise it....
Seriously... Am I doing more good den bad?
Or issit the other way round?
I dunno, seriously... Take a stab in d dark and u'll see I'm more bad den good...
If anyone is reading this, I wanna stress again...
I haven't lost my mind or gone crazy....
I dun look for sympathy....
If u wanna like me, the reason for liking me must be for hu i am...
Yea, even if I'm as thin as a pole...
I may not be heavy....
But my heart weighs heavier den gold...
For those who know me well, good for u....
For those who dun, I'd recommend u to noe me better before judging me...
Dun jump into the dark and expect a soft landing...

At times, ok, most of the time I'm this goody two shoes...
But there's a part of me no one ever noes abt...
Itz a part where u cross my line more den 3 times....
A part where u better take cover or suffer the consequences....
This is d part of me which scares the heck out of everyone....
Sheesh... I'm one crappy guy la hor...
Hahakz...
Ok back to the topic....
When an elephant dies, it leaves its bones....
When a tiger dies, it leaves its stripes....
When fiqz dies... There's nothing for me to leave....
But to leave this world in sadness....
Cuz no one seems to realise me...
Itz like, harlow? fiqz here....
And dey go like "har? where u?"...
I noe I'm THIN la for goodness sakes...
Itz in my genes....
I CAN"T GET FATTER...
Haiz.... Girls go for FIT guys....
And end up hurting themselves coz those GUYS have no HEART...
Especially girls who are PRETTY...
And get ANY guy they want...
And goes for LOOKS....
Seriously, this is bothering me to my bones...
Even my eyes can't stop twitching manz...
Girls out there.. Please la hor....
Go for the heart, NOT FOR THE FREAKIN LOOKS....
And u ask urself why the two of u can't go on long....
Sheesh... What is wrong with u pple....
Girls come to me and say "skinny ar u...."
I'm like "uhuh, besides stating d obvious..."
And dey go "manz, dat guy's cute and fit..."
I'm like... "so? does he have a heart?"
Dun dare tell me I'm wrong...
Cuz as a counsellor, I'm faced with these types of questions...
Itz not just once or twice...
But ALL THE TIME...
I'm not complaining abt my job...
But please, gals, tink before u choose...
If u barely noe d guy for onli less den a year....
U ask me whether its OK to stead with him....
And if u see me sighing and getting furious...
Better think 5 times over dat question...
As a guy hu's NOT handsome and NOT Masculine...
I'm mostly rejected for my looks, i could say all d time....
But i gez, itz ok ar... Dey lose out on the good heart....
I'm a guy for goodness sakes....
And for a guy hu says dat most guys cannot be trusted...
What does that show u?
Guys are most likely to cheat on sumone's feelings..

I noe... As much as I can say....
Not many actually process this in their heads..
It just goes thru their eyes, and goes straight past the brain and out the eye...
So why do I still bother typing all this crap down...
Well... I just hope that sumday....
Even when I'm dead...
People would blog hop to this blog....
And read my stuff...
And really gain sumting from it....
Or it would seem as though I'm writing nonsense....

My poems... My lyrics... My thoughts...
My reflections.. My love life... My feelings...
My emotions... My hatreds... My lovelies...
My Ups... My downs... My happiness...
My sorrows... My angst.... My solemness....
.
are all....
in this blog....
So...
If one day,
i were to be gone,
please just leave me as I am....
I dun deserve to live in dis world...
not by myself..at least...

dis aint d end just yet....
But I dunno wen it would be...
so gd byezz and sleep well....
I'll be in ur dreams...

Zupz Zupz!