Dear Bloggie...
Yes I'm angry...
Very very angry...
At myself...
For going so low...
ARGH...
If I could strangle myself, I would, seriously, no joke...
Why do I always do this to myself...
Must be from all the family pressure...
Looking at my sister...
3 kids... All still very young...
With a husband that had stroke a year ago and had his left leg amputated, and now he's having trouble speaking cause that part of the brain is dead...
Then I look at my mom...
Crying every day... Her vision keeps getting worse... And my dad's patience with her is getting thinner by the day cause my mom is going into depression...
Then there's my grandmother... Who's in hospital now... Everyday she wish she was at home with her family...
And there's me... ME....
Haiz... me...
To be honest, I'm perfectly pathetic...
Just filled with disappointments...
Disappointing others...
I'm working from home...
My income is well, pathetic...
I don't even know who I am anymore...
*sigh*
why does this happen to me... why now...
This is not how I imagined my life would be...
I'm serious...
Where did I go wrong...
Which part in my life did I screw up so badly?
Even if I did know, not like there's any way to correct it...
But I gotta take small steps...
Recovery's gonna be a bitch...
But it's necessary....
I need to step up... I need to fight...
Cause in the end I can only count on myself now...
I seriously feel like screaming, but I shall contain it till I'm at the beach or something, if not people think I siao...
Gah.
Zupz Zupz
