Dear Bloggie...

Hmmmm... I'm updating my blog for d 3rd time now....
The reason for this... Is cause I read sumting I shouldn't....
And my heart is malfunctioning... I can barely breathe....
Temperature rising, dun tink I'm goin 2 school tml too....

For sum reason... I just, I can nv forgive myself.....
These nitemares I get.... D tears I shed at nite....
I dun understand animore......
Now... With watever datz left of me now....
I'm trying to explain to myself....
Watz love?

Wat in this whole universe is love?
I see love as a beautiful ting....
But wen itz polluted by jealousy and hate....
It aint love animore....
So we come back 2 d same question...
WAT is love.....
Izzit this "thing" we share wen two pple get close.....
Or izzit an emotional ting?

For me... I gez, I've been d worse person 2 be loved......
I'm a danger.... Heck, I dun even noe aniting abt love...
I can't treat pple correctly, I even hurt dem....
How could I.... Hurt a person I love.....
What was I tinking.... Hu was I at dat time......
Even though I may be forgiven....
But wat I did... I swear I can't forgive myself.....
It hurtz me to noe d truth.....
Wy...... Wy does it hurt.......
Can't I handle d truth? I dunno.. Can I?
Now dis phrase comes into place, "Itz easy to fall in love, but not out of it"
Juz tink abt it.... Juz like a fruit....
Which has juz ripen.....
Obviously U'd eat it rite?
But if u keep it for too long....
Wat happens?
It getz spoilt thru dtime....
Now Imagine me as d fruit......
Waiting and waiting...... And wat did I become....
I became a monster.... A heart as hard as a rock....
A monster which tinks of onli himself......

I look back at dat time.....
Yet again I tell myself, I must not be forgiven....
What i did was WRONG!
Haiz.... Dat wasn't me......
*shakes head*
Hu was that.... It wasn't me.....='(
I noe... My tears are useless....
Cuz it can nv heal d pain dat I've done....
I've done too much damage....
I was selfish... I cared onli abt myself.....
I'm suppose to help pple, datz in my name...
But I should be caned for my actions....
Or maybe killed for doing wat I did...

I'm not pointing out to hu I did wrong...
U noe hu u are.....
Please, I understand u wanna save our frenship...
I want it as badly as u too....
I too want everyting to get back to d way it was.....
And I understand, after wat I did....
The love u had for me is totally gone....
And itz not ur fault... All dis time, it has been me...
Itz MY fault... And I dare admit it.....
Coz I know I'm in d wrong....
People would tink, a person like me would be innocent....
I'm proven guilty by myself....
Wat I did was clearly wrong.....
I'm dis stupid guy.... Who can't tink straight....

I have to pay for wat i did......
I'm sori.....
I deserve every punishments dat I can get......
I noe, u can't bare me 2 luv u animore....
For i'd become dat monster again.....
But I juz wanna say, dat I've turned over a new leaf....
I wanna start over....
And I dun expect u 2 treat me nicely....
Cuz I dun deserve ur kindness.....
For the past two weeks.....
I've been sobbing....
I couldn't sleep.... Yes, I deserve it.....
I onli knew how 2 talk big.....
But inside, I'm as small as an ant....
I'm weak....

Dat is wy I need u.......
But ever since all dis happened.....
I'm very weak.....
U are my happiness, u are my strength.....
I couldn't live without u.....
Every night I dream abt u.....
If I wasn't such a fool....
Right now I'd be holding u....
There's noting I wouldn't do......
But onli if I knew....

The words to say,
The road to take,
To find d way back to ur heart
Wat can i do,
To get to u,
and find d way back to ur heart....

Give me one more chance, to give u my love....
Coz no one noes how 2 love u, like I do.........

I'm sori...........