Dear Bloggie...

I feel sick, great.

Morning, woke up at around 8.45am...
Bathed and all...
Went online till about 9.30am...
Had breakfast till about 11am while watching tv...
Ben Ten was on!
Ok..
Then back to my room...
Did exam papers, theory...
I got stuck on melody composing, that sucked...
But in the end I just heck care and just used broken chords..

Then went for piano lessons...
She marked my paper...
And I forgot all about transposition la...
Damn I feel screwed...
Then went back home...
Went out again with family...
Went to some paya lebar place where they sell furniture and stuff...
I got myself a bed, study table and a wardrobe...
Gonna get those on 26th July...
So then we went to Whitesands mall...
In hopes of buying canadian pizza...
But the shop wasn't there anymore..
Bought my black shoe for concert!
It looks damn nice...
I bet I'll look damn nice on 27th July..
Then off to home...

Went back home, prayed, and went back out again...
This time went to TMart...
Bought rice and pizza hut...
And I made my new specs...
My degree shot up to 300 for right and 425 for left la...
Sian...More carrots please!
I made half frame specs...with a lil orange in it...
Then went back home...
Ate rice and ate cake and pizza too...
And now I'm not feeling very good...

So that's my day...
Prolly my last day as a teenager...
Technically of course...
It's time for me to just, shove the past up my ass...
Stop being nice cause sometimes it's not worth it...
Just be who I am...
Finally, the big two zero....

--------------------------------------------------------------

As I switched on the lights...
It flickered...
Not a second or two later, it went POP!
That's life...
Flickering past without you noticing it...
And when the time comes, you will just go, pop...
All the things you did when you were alive...
Will just be forgotten...
Your name will not be remembered...
And you'll just die off like some legend...
But why are we talking about death?
Isn't it, abit too young?
No~
It's not...
No one can determine how much longer you'll live...
Though I'm grateful to see the things I've seen...
Sometimes I wonder if I've been cursed...
Heck don't get me started on love and shit...
We're talking about life here...
And I'm sorry if I'm not as elated as I should be...
I'm really am sorry...
To everyone I know...
To those who I've let down or led on..
If by me being too nice is the cause of all of it...
I will change...
So as not to hurt anymore...
I'm sick of this...
Sick of trying to please everyone I know of...
For once would it hurt to please me?
I guess not...
And like I said before, don't waste your time on me...
It's not worth it...
It seems like I'm always there for all of you...
But there isn't any point in doing so anymore...
So I'm sorry...
For causing so much trouble for the past 19 years of my cursed life...
And thanks for trying to be there for me...
But most of the time i see facades more then faces...
I might be getting new things, new friends...
But I'll always escalate the same darn problems over and over again...
I'm a loser, I gotta accept that...
Maybe one day I'll be a winner...
Even that, it will feel superficial...

What do I want?
I want nothing from you...
All I seek is true happiness...
Please let me look for my happiness...
For I know it's out there...

Take care everyone...
And hope you all have a great year ahead...
Good nite.

Zupz Zupz.