Dear Bloggie...

The sense of ironism is strongest in the most oxymoronic way of life.

Ok I shall work my way backwards from today...

Monday!
Woke up at around 9.30am...
By my mom asking me about my dental appointment...
Which, is now scheduled on 29th of August...
Wanted to go back to sleep, but can't seem to...
So went to bathe, and went online...
Then when it was 11am, grabbed brunch and went to school...
Reached school at around 1.20pm, but attendance still could be taken, so tapped...
Lab was about multi-tasking...
I just hate it when he just keeps quiet like that...
Anyway...
He was trying to figure out something that he missed out on...
Then the TSO came, and said three magical words "COPY AND PASTE"
Then he demonstrated it, and it was done, Lab 9 DONE...

So then we proceed to our PBIL...
I was supposed to do the input part, but well, it's kinda tedious and I'm a noob...
So Thomas did most of the input stuff...
For once we ended ECS lab at 3pm...
Usually it would be before 2 or slightly after 2...
So went home and went online...
Watched Get Smart: Bruce and Lloyd Out Of Control...
SUPERBLY HILARIOUS...

And that was it for today...
Rewind time...

Sunday...
The IBM concert day...
I actually wrote IBM XXIV on my last blog entry...
But in actual fact it should be IBM XXVI...
Sorry for that, usually I don't screw up things like that...
Anyway...
Woke up at around 9am...
Watched TV till about 10.30am...
Went to bathe, got ready and off I was to school...
For the record, I haven't felt so black before..
Reached Dover and saw HuiYi on the platform, incidentally we were on the same train...
Went to band room and there were quite alot of people there already...
Then we brought our instruments to the Convention Centre...
Did warm up, tune up and all the ups u can find...
Then, dinner...
Seriously, regret eating dinner...
Ate too much cause I thought I was superbly hungry...
Then it was time for concert...
Went in at around 4.45pm...
Stone there till around 5.05pm...
Then my stomach felt weird, my throat started swelling and my heart started pumping...
Three of the most WORST combinations that could happen during a concert..
And I had to hose my throat open with water all the time...
It was EMBARASSING...
I can't say much about the concert, no, not cause of STM, but cause I was kept busy with my throat PMS-ing on me...
The only song I could play clearly was the last song, which was IBM...
Somehow I realised, God is teaching me a lesson for doing alot of wrong things...
And somehow, I had to learn it the hard way...

After the concert...
Had phototaking...
By then my throat was ok and heart rate was back to normal...
OH!
And my 4th valve key popped out!
It popped out JUST after I sat down after standing up for the ending of the last song...
Super lucky!
Well at least I had my 4th valve throughout the concert...
And I'm thankful for that! =D

After phototaking, the eupho section went back to band room...
There were gifts from Zhen Yang...
Gosh I'm starting to miss the guy...
Would've have been great to see him see us perform after teaching us through those long hours of sectionals...
Thank you Zhen Yang!!!
Hope you have a wonderful time in the army!!! =D

After keeping my instrument...
Went outside convention centre to wait for my juniors...
Then had a group photo on the stairs...
LiangRong got one of KaiZhi's friend to take the picture for us...
Damn funny...=X
Then took train to Tampines...
Went to TM the Kopitiam and ate some black pepper rice thingy...
After that walked all the way to opposite stadium there to see my juniors off...
Then I went to the opposite bus stop and took 3 home...
I wasn't feeling high at all yesterday night...
Argh Gooblesworth!

On Saturday...
Went to NASband...
Taught the eupho section for a good whole hour...
Somehow I think I blogged about sat already, so I shan't waste time talking about it...

My whole life feels meaningless suddenly...
And yea, I tried smiling, the endorphins aint kicking in...
I guess this is my true self...
Filled with self pity which is pathetic, yes I'm pathetic...
Please don't sympathise with me, cause you'll be wasting your time...
I can't even face myself anymore...
So many things going down the drain and I can't be bothered anymore...
NASband...
Maybe it's time for me to say goodbye...
It has been great being in such a wonderful band...
From 2002 all he way to 2008...
I've got no freaking idea how I survived...
Yea...
I actually used the word SURVIVEd...
An intention of wanting to come changed to an intention of have to come...
Which in turn, changes everything I've been fighting for...
All this while I fought to keep the good integrity of the band to the other alumnis...
Of which, was hopeless as they were already too disappointed...
But I wasn't, I shall blame my stupid belief I had with the band...
The belief of that one common unity with all the band members...
True the band's playing standard is improving even though NBC states otherwise...
But like Mr Yeo said, results are merely written in black and white...
They aren't written in stone...
But as an Alumni...
Hearing the result of my own band, my own sweat and tears, from other band people...
Those of which asked me what happend to my band...
I could just try to keep my tears in myself...
What have I done wrong to deserve such humiliation...
I seriously don't understand...
I've loved the band since the day I joined the band...
But now...
The feeling of "love" feels just like a thing of the past...

I know I'm not that great at all...
Hell, I suck like shit...
Which got me thinking, what the hell am I doing trying to teach...
TRYING to teach...
I'd probably look up from hell as I recall how foolish I was when I'm dead...
Where have I gone wrong NASband?
What did I do?!
Do you guys need someone to die before you guys start coming together?
First Mrs Chua left, the conductor that BROUGHT ME UP IN BAND...
And YOU ALL MADE HER LEAVE...
Doesn't that make any of you feel it's time to come together as a band and work as one?
Then came NBC...
Some of you still can say "expected LAH"...
And also, coming late from breaks, still got the cheek to say "that one is NORMAL one la"...
I'm sorry if I sound rude or unjust...
But if you think about it, I come for YOUR band practices even MORE than MOST of you...
NASband, you think I'm so free? Just to come babysit you guys?
Is it THAT difficult to give some of your PRECIOUS time to the band?
Is it as though asking a BIG favour?
The only reason I stayed was I thought you guys have hope...
But from your childishness and immaturity just shows how much you're in deep shit...
Sectionals means SECTIONALS, NOT COMBINE...
If you need someone to explain that to you, I'd rather you just quit band...
And during combine, DON'T TALK...IT'S RUDE...
I won't say names, you should know who you are...
Wake up call after wake up call, the sense of "waking up" is always short lived...
If any one of you are insulted from what I just said...
Then TOO BAD cause you guys are too stuck up to accept the facts...
Even when Suky was presenting, many of you were talking...
For some, even LAUGHING...
You think the results are funny?
You guys need more then a wake up call, cause you guys are already too PAMPERED...
Nice leaders, nice teachers...
You guys practically don't have to work for anything...
That's why you guys aren't scared of ponning band, come late for band, going against ur leaders/teachers...
And you all complain when you're punished...
YOU THINK YOUR PUNISHMENTS ARE HARSH?!
And I can only conclude, the leaders/teachers just don't have the HEART to see you all suffer...
Spare the cane, spoil the child...
Obviously the band is spoiled...
When will the cane ever appear? The day someone dies or maybe something far more tragic then that...
If being nice means you'll be stepped on and make the band pampered is the way....
Then I seriously don't wish to say I ever belong to NASband...
NASband, it's time to fucking WAKE UP...
Yea, I'm pissed angry and disappointed with you and myself...
If next year I don't see at least a Silver for SYF...
I'm gonna leave you in the shit you're in...
I've tried my best to help the band, but the band isn't responding...

Ok, now that's off my chest...
Time to talk about school...
Freaking MAD is 1/2 way done and I'm stuck...
ECS PBIL is going smoothly...
FYP, greatly overdued, plus there's report to be done, 100 pages...wtf.
My exams are in 3 weeks time and I haven't started studying....
Currently not feeling well at all, as in, sick...
Gah...
I think that's all for today la...
Take care everyone...

"You're so busy that you don't even say hello to me anymore..."

Zupz Zupz!